God Has Wings

I don't know if regular angels--other than cherubim and seraphim--have wings, but I know God does. I have a lot to say about the time I've spent sitting on the rock on the beach surrounded by fog, but right now I need to talk about God's wings. I spent a lot of time in the night last night with them.

Physical pain is a big part of the cancer journey and just because I might be through with chemotherapy and three weeks past surgery doesn't mean the pain is gone. The nerve damage to my right hand and my feet won't go away for probably a year. And I'm having some minor issues with the surgery site. Last night it kept me awake.

Emotional pain is also a constant companion. Grief over what is lost and over the continuing suffering sometimes overwhelms me. Sadness that I can't pick up my grandson and hug him to me is almost physical. Knowing I will be able to soon is no consolation for now.

So in the middle of my suffering, I cried out to Jesus. Sweet Jesus. I've discovered that the length of our prayers is directly correlated to the depth of our suffering. All I could manage was to say the Name. After a while I could cry, "God help me!" In the middle of my sobbing, He came. He hovered over me with His wings and He lifted me up so I could enter His sanctuary.

In the book of Exodus, when Moses decribes the directions for making the tabernacle's Holy place behind the veil, he tells us the pattern of wings was woven into the inner ceiling fabric. God's wings covered the place where He would dwell.

The Psalmist says in 63:6-7,"When I remember Thee in the night watches, For Thou hast been my help, And in the shadow of Thy wings I sing for joy." I remembered God in the night and called out to Him. He was my help. I was able to spend time thanking Him for hovering over me. And that was when He usered me into His sanctuary. He spoke comfort to me and I worshipped Him.

Jesus said in Matthew 23:37 that He wanted to gather the children of Jerusalem together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings. That's because He has wings. He longs to gather us up under them and carry us into His sanctuary. But they were not willing. We have to be willing. If we're not, He'll leave us where we are.

The Psalmist also says in 73:17 that he was troubled about things the way he understood them until he entered the sanctuary of God. Then He got God's perspective and he saw the truth. I was able to get God's perspective last night. I need to go through this suffering right now. I don't know why, I just know I do. And I'll glorify God along the way.

My original thought was that I would glorify God with a loud voice when it was all over and I was cured, like the leper Jesus healed who came back to say thank you. But healing may be a long way off--or at least the feeling of being healed. The cancer has been removed, so technically I guess healing has occurred. I learned I need to, and can, glorify God in the middle of my suffering. It is in the praise that real healing comes--on the wings of God.